Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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