STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
