I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
