Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
