I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
