isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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