He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
