I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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