Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drake has all the answers
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
