just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
