I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
