Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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