something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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