At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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