honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
