im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize