Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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