I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
