somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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