So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
