Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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