i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
