How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize