she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
