so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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