Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
