Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
