I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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