We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
