My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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