I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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