She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
