Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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