so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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