I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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