This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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