Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
