with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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