I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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