Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
