Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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