Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
