You're my little dorito
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
