ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My penis needs a shock collar
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
