"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
