I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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