I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize