He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
