Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
