I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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