just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
