she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
