i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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