jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
