I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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