She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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