everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
