worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Randomize
