I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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