the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
