I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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