Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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