I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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