He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
