what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
