yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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